Aliens!

Umm, I found an alien in my backyard. Is anyone missing one?

It replies to "Bob" and "Bob". I was bored, so I tried to teach it pig latin. He got as far as "Ow-hay are-way ou-yay" and then its head turned purple and it started to writhe in agony. I then healed it by feeding it Spam. It thanked me, and then began to disinegrate my front porch. I tould him to stop, but he misinturpreted me and instead began to destroy earth. Now, destroying earth is not a nice thing to do when you first meet a guy. So I decided to send my army of half-mutant hamsters on him. It was a heroic battle, but in the end the hamsters won, as they always do(strong little buggers!) I then stole Bob's spacecraft and began to use it for my own demented purposes. Don't ask what they are, I don't know myself.

As I flew away, the engine died, and I had to replace it with my pair of toenail clippers, which made it twice as fast and three times as smelly. Then I flew home and wrote this blog. And now I am done. How snooglephres.